STRATEGI KONSELING PASTORAL BAGI ISTRI YANG MENGALAMI KEKERASAN VERBAL DALAM RUMAH TANGGA KRISTEN

Abstract

Verbal violence in Christian households is often minimized as ordinary marital conflict, personality difference, or a temporary failure of communication. This article argues that repeated verbal degradation, intimidation, humiliation, spiritual manipulation, and threats must be read as psychological violence and coercive control that damages the wife’s dignity, agency, spirituality, and mental health. Using a qualitative constructive design, this study correlates pastoral counseling literature, Indonesian legal and social data, trauma-informed care, selected Indonesian and English-language pastoral counseling outputs submitted by the researcher, and theological reflection on imago Dei, justice, protection, and reconciliation. The article criticizes three inadequate pastoral tendencies: reducing violence to disharmony, prioritizing marital continuity before safety, and treating forgiveness as a substitute for accountability. It proposes a protective-transformative pastoral counseling model consisting of truthful listening, risk discernment, safety planning, theological reframing, agency restoration, and congregational accountability. The model repositions pastoral counseling not as private advice to preserve appearances, but as ecclesial care that protects victims, interrupts abusive power, and builds a safer church system.